Zarreck flanked by Groucho the Ultroloth and Helios Slum Dun Pudding
Zarreck: The so called "sack and burning" of Ziegen is merely the sad work of the so called "Scourge Conspiracy Theorists" attributing every attack by extraplanar beings as "Scourge".
Sure the town is smouldering rubble and its people have been nailed en masse onto a tree, but did anyone see the "Scourge" do this?
Easily explainable due to careless use of alchemists fire to light a wood stove;
and some rather careless and protracted use of a ladder and 6 inch nails, of which by the way I squarely blame the foolish folk of Ziegen, who are renowned for their over enthusiastic being nailed to trees antics. I would like to reassure the people as Grandmaster of the Galdorian League, that firstly the Scourge are our friends, and the events in Ziegen are in no way related to them.
I wouls also call upon the folk of Helios to come and join in the fun of the inaugural Zarreck Day, free Gold Dragon Burgers served by the the old Guard Galdorians, dressed in their new uniform of a loin cloth and clown shoes perched on unicycles.
Groucho's enthusiastic nodding causes nose to fall off, eyes flick to Zarreck and he slowly lowers out of shot and appears again with nose on again
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