CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

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CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

Unread postby Sathias » 4 Jun 12, 11:43 am

There is no zombie apocalypse. The United States' Centres for Disease Control and Prevention made this extraordinary statement after a spate of cannibalism incidents hit the news.

"CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)", agency spokesman David Daigle told the Huffington Post on Friday.

This is not the first time the CDC has addressed zombies. In the past, the government agency has released several tongue-in-cheek warnings about the undead.

Now, however, the CDC decided to weigh in on the zombie question in earnest following a vicious attack that happened in Miami last week, when Rudy Eugene, aged 31, was shot and killed by police while devouring the face of a homeless man.

The victim, 65-year-old Ronald Poppo, survived, but the incident has left his face horribly disfigured.

Eugene, who may have been high on drugs known as bath salts at the time, seemed invulnerable to the bullets piercing his naked body until the moment he collapsed, police said.


http://www.news.com.au/technology/sci-t ... 6382746704

:freak:
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Re: CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

Unread postby Bicketybam » 4 Jun 12, 12:19 pm

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Re: CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

Unread postby Anon. E. Moose » 4 Jun 12, 12:37 pm

Damnit.
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Re: CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

Unread postby Sathias » 4 Jun 12, 1:15 pm

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Re: CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

Unread postby XViper » 4 Jun 12, 1:43 pm

LMFAO.
Brilliant.
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Re: CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

Unread postby ChainsawMcP » 4 Jun 12, 10:14 pm

Sathias wrote:
This is not the first time the CDC has addressed zombies. In the past, the government agency has released several tongue-in-cheek warnings about the undead.


The CDC actually has quite a lot of information about how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse...

http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm

Yes - it is genuinely the CDC - presenting handy info for most other disaster types that the CDC want people to be prepared for - written in a way that people might actually read.

"We continue to reach and engage a wide variety of audiences on all hazards preparedness via Zombie Preparedness; and as our own director, Dr. Ali Khan, notes, "If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack." So please log on, get a kit, make a plan, and be prepared!"
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Re: CDC denies existence of zombie apocalypse

Unread postby FryzieDelta » 4 Jun 12, 10:21 pm

Being prepared for a zombie apocalypse would definately prepare you for any disaster. Stockpiled supplies will help you survive in the event of a tornado or tsunami, giving you more time to scavenge for more food and water. Comprehensive first aid kits could also come in handy in the event of a fire, explosion, out of control semi-trailer through the wall etc. Of course, the shotgun would also be useful in the event you are taken hostage by terrorists. :2gunsfiring_v1:

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Looks like the zombie attacks have gotten people concerned and looking for answers :D
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