You probably couldn't ever capture in words the immensity of being led, shackled, into a prison van towards a miserable future inside a small cell on Death Row where you will remain with no hope for release, until one day, possibly many years down the track, you'll be strapped down waiting for the lethal injection. Of course, that is unless you happen to have the good fortune to be warned by a fellow Death Row inmate to get your head down just before that first van slides to a halt, and you somehow manage to be rescued. As difficult as that is to express in words, that's exactly what you can expect to experience within the opening moments of Kane & Lynch: Dead Men.

It's a strange thing to sympathise with the two leading characters when you realise there's not an ounce of sanity between them. Describing them as monsters would be complimenting them. It's rare to strike an immediate dislike to the leading characters within any game, but that's just the case here, with two of the most unendearing, despicable bastards in what could be the entire history of gaming.

Having escaped Death Row, the duo of the title are brought before The7, a mercenary organisation that Kane had been a member of until a particular job went sour, resulting in Kane stashing the loot just before his imprisonment. With The7 holding Kane's estranged wife and daughter as hostage, Kane has no choice but to comply with their demands to return the loot. In terms of story, that's the bare bones of it. What follows next is a murderous spree that makes movies you previously thought of as violently intense (take Heat for example) seem very pale in comparison. Seeing innocent bystanders being shot in cold blood including night clubbers and bank customers, loads of coppers landing on their sides with bullet-holes to the head and the odd slashed throat quickly turns from shocking to a sort of unreal norm. As usual, things don't go as smoothly as predicted, forcing Kane to team up with some old muscle in an effort to hunt down every single member of The7. As predictable as the story is, it's quite well done with a focus on the shocking and dramatic that remains cinematically gripping till the end. Coupled with the relentless pace and sudden twists and turns in later stages of the plot, including the possibility of two different ends to the story, Kane & Lynch gets presented in stages that makes each previous bloodbath meek in comparison.

For instance, the first major setting you'll experience is the (if possible) plain old bank robbery. Go in, grab the cash then move out; couldn't be easier. Instead, Lynch decides to shoot most of the hostages, which of course draws out the police, the sharp shooters and lots of smoke grenades. In the next major junction of the story, you'll be pushing your way through a dark, multileveled nightclub packed with people dancing away, totally oblivious to the fact that within minutes, quite a few of them will be lying dead, twitching on the floor. A single gunshot makes everyone panic, invariably bringing out the gun toting security with the end result a no-brainer: piles of innocent clubbers dead everywhere.

For the most part, Lynch acts as a medic/ammo dump while wielding his shotgun towards innocents and enemies alike. When Kane's out of ammo, he provides the goods a certain number of times. After that, you're forced to change weapons, usually by picking up dropped weapons from slain enemies. Health follows the regenerative path (shock, horror) but enough damage will see you flat on the floor. This usually means one of three things. If Lynch happens to be nearby, you get a shot of adrenaline, which brings you back from the brink. While initially it will save you, too many adrenaline hits will kill you. If Kane's not within range, you're as good as dead.

The game shines further by virtue of its sudden change to squad based action. In later stages, you team up with three other fellow psychos, which opens up a set of simple commands. With combat often staged on some large environments, it means if one particular approach to the objective fails, look around hard enough and you'll see other possible approaches. Squad action within Kane & Lynch doesn't dictate you follow any hard and fast rules of combat, which means you've got options. Options mean fun and the game's got plenty of that within every level.

As opposed to the cumbersome cover system, where more often than not you'll be fighting against the Xbox 360 in deciding what direction you want to be facing once in cover, the enemy AI takes full advantage of these available options to make for some interesting battles. Giving commands to the troops is a simple point-and-click system. Squad members spy out targets and open fire while moving into better firing positions, while the bad guys (or is that good guys?) succeed in putting up some stiff resistance, especially on later levels, firing blind from behind cover when the action gets too hot to moving about unnoticed until you find yourself surrounded.

The multiplayer options of Kane & Lynch: Dead Men feel tacked on during the last minute of production. Aside from the co-op split screen option, the only online choice is what's called Fragile Alliance. Up to 8 players start the game as bank robbers trying to get away with the most loot to the get away car. Trying to stop you are AI security guards and if you happen to die, you quickly respawn as the police, also trying to stop the thieves form escaping. It's interesting, for the first or second attempts, but frankly there are much better methods of online play out in the market right now than what Kane & Lynch: Dead Men provides. Play it once and move on; that's the gist of it.

Visually, Kane & Lynch is like a fizzy drink gone flat. While still consumable, it'll leave you feeling like you've missed out on a decent experience. While the many in-game cinematics work a treat in carrying the story towards an explosive finale, there's a marked lack of visual finesse in every aspect of the game which in terms of the present competition out there, reflects badly against the title. Characters don't come anywhere close to being detailed enough while the outdoor environments make you want to call the local optometrist for an eye check up.

Another sad reflection on the overall experience is the game's awful hit detection. You'll be able to count the number of head shots you make on one hand. Shooting enemies in the head, or for that matter, a few times in the groin doesn't necessarily means they'll go down in a sudden heap. Using certain weapons such as the rifle should mean more distance between you and the target equates less accuracy. Strangely, the reverse seems to be the case. The closer you are, the less successful you'll seem to be. Of course, pumping an entire clip into someone's head usually does the trick. Even so, when some enemies go down, all wriggling and moaning about in pain, a few extra (and scaringly satisfying) shots to the head shuts them up quick smart.

The game's filled with some of the best vocal acting found on the Xbox 360. The smart banter between Kane and Lynch is straight out of a Hollywood script, filled with huge amounts of strong emotion fuelled dialogue. It goes without saying that if you plan on playing this one loud, wait till those sensitive to expletives leave the premises – there's loads of it.


The game's enjoyment seems born more out of the ever changing, impressively staged scenarios than out of any desire for a bloodbath. You couldn't possibly predict some of the locations and situations Kane finds himself in. Enemy AI is good enough for some sustained fighting sequences as is the interesting (when played once) multiplayer Fragile Alliance option. Without revealing any more spoilers, it's one man's ruinous desire for revenge twined with a desire for absolution from past wrongs that makes this a thrilling ride from start to finish. It's relentless, it's brutal to the extreme and apart from its glaring, almost unforgivable faults, it is, excuse the pun, bloody impressive. As for the future of this IP, expect either one or both of the following to occur: firstly, this smells like a franchise in the making and secondly, I wouldn't be surprised to see a film made from it.