Nintendo, this is the police. We've confirmed Link is a furry and unsafe to work with children

There's something about the way the world works when you play most console RPGs.

1) There is generally a pre-requisite "cuteness" (if you're made in Japan) that accompanies the game, no matter how serious the content matter or the number of people that die.
2) Things randomly appear to kill you, usually accompanied by a swirl. Then, you patiently take turns attacking each other until one of the two parties dies.
3) When your battling party dies, even if you still have living characters supposedly standing to one side of the battle watching and eating popcorn, you die and it's Game Over.
4) CG movies (formerly the glorious FMV) glorify major events and are designed specifically to look cool.
5) Each Final Fantasy game should remain a single "Final Fantasy" game within its own designated number. For instance, there should never have been another FFVII, because although it wasn't a terrible game, it really wasn't all that good either.
6) An at least interesting, if not excellent story is a must, but not necessarily a pre-requisite for an enjoyable journey.
7) Characters (at least one of them) must be intriguing.
8) Battling things grants you experience and monsters carry gold (and also like to shop at Myer).
9) Square make the best RPG's and regardless of what people actually 'think', which they obviously don't, WoW sucks.

Many of the above can be applied to most monumental (and some crappy) RPGs of the past. Since time began, Squaresoft (now Square-Enix) has taken the RPG crown, pioneering new ways to look at the role-playing world, whilst pushing the graphical capabilities of their console at the same time.

I guess it's time to get to my point; Final Fantasy XII is a mixed bag of genius and utter annoyance. It redefines the console RPG, stripping back many elements that have annoyed me in the past but destroying some of the elements that have made the games in the past. Here's an essay for you.

Fran's Audition by Karakoke. I'm not wierd for thinking this is hot!

The Story and Characters

Two realms are at war, Rozzaria and Archadia (or The Imperials), and caught in the middle is the country Dalmasca. As the Imperials take Rabanstre, the capital of Dalmasca, a group of insurgents revolt against The Imperials in a bid for the city's freedom. Enter Vaan, the typical, young, girlish looking lead boy of Final Fantasy XII. He's a thief, he's a fighter, he's an orphan, he's got a crush on a few young girls (you can tell, though it isn't let on!) but most of all he's got that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that tells him to fight. Probably because The Imperials stole his country and killed his brother. Thrown into the fray are another five playable characters: the charismatic Sky Pirate, Balthier and his accomplice Fran, a bunny-eared, sexy and strangely accented woman (who could be the star of many of my dreams). There's Ashe and Basch, both of whom should be dead and fight for the resurrection of the Dalmascan thrown and then there's Penelo, a young, sprightly orphan friend of Vaan. It's a strange ensemble of characters, complementing each other well. If anything, the characters are a little too nice, without that clash of opinion or conflict of interest that makes character driven stories interesting. In previous titles, we had Cloud disappointing everyone and Squall hating everything. FFXII is just too nice.

I should mention here the bad guys, The Imperials. These dudes are threatening. Whilst the average soldier is nothing to look at and can be taken down with relative ease, the Judges, a sort of commander class, are menacing. With thick, heavily ornamented armour, that swagger that calmly offers death to those standing in their way and with an intellect to rival even mine, they're scary adversary. To some degree, they remind me of Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine, with raspy, metallic voices and their uncompromising attack on the insurgents.

All the main characters are voiced-over and for me, the voices worked perfectly. True, many people shudder at the thought of having non-Japanese voice-over artists but this is different. For FFXII, which has a more serious feel than previous instalments, the majority of actors take on French (sometimes a little TOO French) and British accents, which pull off extremely well. My favourite voices are of the sky-pirate Balthier and his accomplice Fran. There is just something about Balthier's voice that grants him an air of trustworthiness and experience, whilst Fran could turn any man's heart to butter. Not because she has the voice of an overbloated, gMilf (that's grand-mother I'd like to ....), but because she's confident and has a strange, distorted and calm way of saying, everything. As mentioned before, the judges are menacing, however the metallic rasp to their vocals feels out of place and unnatural.

As comes standard with the Final Fantasy series, the effects of magic and its combination with technology holds a central theme. These two elements make for some awesome vehicle designs, enemies and an epic storyline. One theme of FFXII plays on the control of the sky, with airships an integral part of war and travel, but relying heavily on the power of the Mist (or magical energy).