I'll start this review with an admission. I've never had the aspiration or inclination at doing things that might lead me to fame, glory and rooms bursting with giggling half-naked coke fuelled groupies. Sure, as a kid, I went through the usual pimple-powered moments where I'd stick my favourite compilation tape into my mega-bass ghetto blaster and air-guitar/sing along to tunes like 'Stairway to Heaven' and 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. But apart from that, one might say I favoured the quite life, on my rocking chair out the front porch chewing tobacco and watching those sexy sows walk past.

That all changed when Bubba the mail-man rode up on his donkey and handed me a package labelled 'Guitar Hero'. Well, knowing what I had in store for the next few days sure did put a smile on me, like a wave on a slop bucket.

Stairway to whammy heaven

It's taken a while to reach our shores since its release in the northern hemisphere late in 2005. The usual case of not being able to meet demand overseas meant our region suffered the inevitable delays. But that's okay, as I'm happy to announce that the makeup and hair spray have been applied, ready for a rocking local release, which is just around the corner.

Opening the large box revealed a funky looking 2/3 sized guitar modelled on the classic Gibson SG, along with a shoulder strap, game disc and a sheet filled with cool flame and skull stickers to adorn the guitar with. Now when it comes to cool gaming peripherals, this baby has got to be the best I've seen. Heck, just wearing the guitar made me feel like a rock god, ready to rise up to the heavens to rain down fully sick riffs on those Top 20 listening fools down below.

Located on the guitar neck are 5 multi-coloured fret buttons ready to be lovingly fingered by the left hand. Patiently awaiting your gentle strokes via your right-hand thumb is the strum bar and within easy reach, the whammy bar. For those that have never touched a guitar and couldn't tell a whammy or a fret to save the neighbours life, I'd recommended the great tutorial, as it explains it all. In no time, you'll be able to walk back stage and talk shop with the pros, then get booted out for being a moron.

Okay, with my tight pants on and rolled-up sock down the groin, I'm ready to kick some butt. Next step is selecting one of the eight different characters on offer. The repertoire of the available characters, both male and female, range across a broad spectrum of musical styles, from punk and metal to classic 80's power ballads, and more.

Yes, you are a God!

A word of warning for those guitar bandits who may think they'll be playing Guitar Hero on Hard or Expert levels straight out of the box. On the Easy level, you have three frets available; red, green and yellow. Medium adds the blue fret and Hard adds the final orange fret. Expert is the kick the teeth level I tired for half a song before I was virtually booed off the stage.

Let's all imagine this scenario; pretend that we've been playing in a rock band for years. We've had some hits, and one day you heard from a mate that there's this game called Guitar Hero. You buy the game and invite everyone over, fully expecting to rock their collective socks off with some slick guitar styling. Well, after you see those previous friends of yours walk out of the house shaking their heads while tossing half-eaten pizza slices at you, you'll understand when I say that pride gets left with the doorman. This game brings mere mortals and rock gods down to the same level of sore fingers and grinning red faces. I've seen people who've played guitar for years fumble their way through the start of this game like a virgin trying to nervously unstrap that first bra.

To help you feel at home as the new band member of 'The Nooblets', the game progressively takes you across six increasingly larger venues, starting from small basement style dives, right up to the sold out stadium gigs. When I say small dives, I mean those smoke-filled joints with stair wells smelling of stale vomit, filled with teens willing to have their ears ring for hours after. The kind of place we all visited years back after sneaking out of the family house with everyone finally asleep. Yes, I have fond memories of a sore behind after being busted one time too many... damn those wooden spoons.
Moving on, the mechanics of the game are fairly straight forward. You choose the virtual guitar along with the guitarist, and then you pick one of the 5 songs on offer. After successfully playing 4 of the 5 songs in the initial list, the game unlocks a further 5 more songs ... and so on you go down the list until you have unlocked over 30 songs.

Looking this good never sounded so better.

As the song plays, notes will come down from the top of the screen to the bottom in the form of a guitar neck. As the different colored notes (indicating the appropriate frets you need to press) travel downwards, you strum the note with the right hand while the left is busy pressing the right sequence of frets. As soon as the note hits the area at the bottom of the screen, it means you need to hit that strum. Notes are shown as single notes or notes with lines, indicating which frets are pressed once and which frets are held, according to the length of the line. It's fairly simple, and that's the beauty of it.
I know I've made it sound like no one but Ozzy Osbourne can figure the game out *coughs*, but if you survive the boo's of the crowd (yes, the really do boo), they'll be a spontaneous lifting of cigarette lighters paving your way to glory.

There are 30 songs to be played, as well as 17 further tracks of the Indie variety that are unlocked as you progress through the game. Now here's the weird thing. When you listen to the songs, you'll swear blind that they were the real deal. Nope. Every one of those 30 monster hits were performed by some remarkably good cover bands.

There's a nifty trick up Guitar Hero's sleeve that will truly make you feel like a legend. Placed inside the guitar is a motion-sensor which is activated by pulling the guitar neck vertically. This game only comes to life when you move from Easy to the Medium levels. That's when you start earning money. There are various ways to get a mean score in this game. You can hit pay dirt by keeping an eye out for those energized looking notes. Hit them on time, and you'll be awarded Star Power. This is indicated via the Star Power meter that fills up as you progress through the song. Once the meter is partially filled, lift the guitar neck up and watch how the crowd react, earning you the big scores.

Milli Vanilli on tour.

Watch out for that rock meter as well, sitting to the right of the screen. Miss a few notes or one of those drawn out sustain notes and you'll know about it by the booing of the crowd and the falling rock meter. That's what really struck me as different playing Guitar Hero. You actually do feel like an integral part of a band. Sure, miss those notes and expect perilous pizza missiles to home in, but keep hitting those notes square on the jaw every single time and feel your own internal rock meter soar.

I didn't try out the multiplayer side of Guitar Hero with the loan copy as I didn't have an extra guitar, but I have seen the one-on-one action via the press launch of the game, and it was enjoyable seeing the dismay on the other persons face as you licked them down real good.

It's fascinating the feeling of satisfaction when successfully completing a song. From the percentage of notes struck, to how the crowd react through out each song, to the rest of the bands animation on screen (that's if you have the chance to look anywhere but where the notes are), Guitar Hero is one slick product that dares to fulfil that burning ambition of being a star. Me? I'm happy where I am sitting on my front porch, smiling and whistling at that lovely sow called Dixie. Yeehaw!