So we return to regular Warp Pipe programming. It hasn't been that long since I did a regular column, but it feels like ages - the GTA articles (one, two, three) turned out to be a little more work than I thought they'd be, but I'm happy with the result. I took a little time off writing over the last week, tucking into Viking: Battle for Asgard and a few awful EA Sports games to push my Xbox 360 gamerscore past the 50,000 mark. Passing that mark seems to have killed my enthusiasm for the system at this point. Of course, I've also spent a bunch of time with Grand Theft Auto IV; it's a good game, possibly even great, but I've yet to see the things that are encouraging other reviewers to give it perfect scores, so I seem to be expecting it to pick up at some point.

As promised, this week we'll have a bit of a grumbly rant about what I don't like about Nintendo, we'll uncover the hidden gem that is The Red Star, and revisit the destructive fun of The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction.

Airing of Grievances - Nintendo

It's hard to justify picking on things that a company has done wrong when they're the market leader - it might just come across as petty. Market leader or not, there are still things that Nintendo could be doing better. That, and it's always fun to pick on Nintendo fans because they're so easy to get a reaction out from. Since we picked on Microsoft prior to the GTA specials, it's only fair that we take on Nintendo this week, and Sony next week.

Too many Wii and DS titles of dubious quality are being released

Last generation, Nintendo found itself in third place in the home console race - not more than a million units behind Microsoft, but totally eclipsed by Sony. The thing that separated Nintendo from the pack was that despite the lack of big success on the GameCube, the company was still very profitable, being the #1 publisher on their system, and having 95% of the handheld market. While not exactly in a "profit or perish" scenario, Nintendo needed to stay in the public consciousness, and they did so by attempting to change the way we play video games with the Nintendo DS and the Wii. By looking beyond the existing video game market, Nintendo has brought new customers to the medium on the back of titles such as Nintendogs, Brain Training and Wii Sports, and now they're leading the market, and making more money than ever.

In the past, Nintendo has drawn criticism for its treatment of third party developers. The company refused to share certain programming techniques crucial to getting the most out of their systems, would refuse third party developers access to larger cartridge sizes, and would cut the production runs of third party publisher cartridges in order to give themselves larger print runs. Third parties were at one stage contracted to produce games for Nintendo exclusively if they wished to release games on the NES, and were restricted to a maximum of five games per year so as to not clog up store shelves with less than stellar software. Some of Nintendo's motives are understandable, even if they're unfair. For the most part, many of these restrictions have been removed, though the company still keeps many of its third party developers in the dark about aspects of the machine's technical capabilities.

The DS needs another big hit like Nintendogs

With the great success of the Nintendo DS and the Wii, we've seen an influx of utterly dire software on both systems. Nintendo is doing absolutely nothing to stem the flow of this crap. Now I know the old Nintendo Seal of Quality was just a fancy little sticker that showed that software was officially licensed by Nintendo and guaranteed to work on your system, but wouldn't it be nice if they had some sort of minimum quality standard? I speak of titles such as Ninjabread Man, Anubis 2, Elf Bowling, Chicken Shoot and Spanish for Everyone (mentioned in an earlier column) - Nintendo needs to refuse to license games of such a low standard.

Speaking of Nintendogs and Brain Training, what is Nintendo planning to do next for the DS? They've said virtually nothing, and their last tent pole release was The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass back in October - that's eight months ago, and it's a core game. I think the biggest thing they're planning to release is a remake of Kirby's Fun Pack - where is the next title with wide appeal? If they don't get another title like Nintendogs or Brain Training out there, demand for the Nintendo DS will start to slip - it is starting to happen in Japan. The Wii will face a similar situation a few months down the track after Wii Fit has its run. Nintendo say they're holding their cards closer to their chest so that nobody gets sick of their hype, but they really have to toss us a bone every now and then, because we've got no idea what they have planned for Christmas. While low hype is of no concern to their new focus, they still have a very big core gamer audience - the ones who got them to this stage - and they want to know what the heck they're going to be playing.

Being a PAL Nintendo fan means long waits

Nintendo has a massive catalogue of franchises to draw from, but in recent times they've outsourced the development, with varying results. I think that it's time that Star Fox and Donkey Kong (with the exception of the sensational Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat) were brought back in house - these two brands have suffered a lot in the hands of outsiders, and need a spectacular release to for them to regain their A class status. How about a new 2D Metroid title while we're at it? Let's not forget about developing some new games for the core market while we're at it - Nintendo hasn't attempted to debut a new major title since Pikmin in 2001. Let's stop the Zelda team remaking Ocarina of Time for the third time and see what they can do with some new characters or other genres. EAD Tokyo proved themselves to be Nintendo's most exciting studio with Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat and Super Mario Galaxy - I'd love to be able to see what they could do from scratch.

Perhaps the biggest problem Nintendo is yet to address is the constant delays faced by their customers in Europe and Australia. Every time it seems like it is getting better, say with The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess or Super Mario Galaxy, they go and stuff it up with a massive delay like Super Paper Mario or Super Smash Bros. Brawl, each of which wasn't/will not be released until 6 months after its initial English release. Doing business in Europe is difficult because of the large translation burden, but many companies integrate the localisation process into the regular development cycle. With Nintendo completely dominating Europe, a market which they've never lead in 25 years of being in the home console and portable business, you'd think they'd be showing them a little more regard.

Of course, no Nintendo whinge-fest would be complete without a quick stab at their online systems. Friend codes are silly - the system for managing them has become better with Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but why can't our Wii system code just serve as one central friend code, rather than having a specific code for each game? Virtual Console is a neat idea, but the games are seriously overpriced - I had to cough up $15 to buy my girlfriend a copy of Pokémon Snap last week; it should really be a maximum of $10. Iwata has gone on the record saying that Virtual Console revenue isn't as high as they'd like it to be, but that is easily solved: increase the standards of titles on the service and drop the price. WiiWare hits this month, but I am concerned that the combination of price and Nintendo's lax quality standards could lead to a lot of awful games on the service - hopefully their consumer review system will be useful.

Diamonds in the Rough

Occasionally, no-name budget releases can be pretty good

The Red Star is a graphic novel written by Christian Gossett set in Russia, heavily inspired by Russian mythology and military history. Initially, it tells the story of a war between the Red Army and Al'Istaan (essentially Afghanistan) from the perspective of Maya Antares. Maya is a warkaster, which is basically a human energy cannon. The Red Army is successfully pushing its way into Al'lstann when it is suddenly and spectacularly defeated by Kar Dathra the Immortal. The spiritual energies (from his many followers) used by Kar Dathra to power his attack awaken a number of mystical beings that wage war over the spirits of the dead, but for the purposes of this game, you're on the lookout for Maya's husband Marcus, who fights in the Red Army.

I didn't think much of The Red Star video game upon its first announcement in 2003 - it was, after all, an essentially no name comic book license game from Acclaim, who at that point were struggling to make anything average, let alone good. The game was all but finished when Acclaim went bankrupt in 2004 - it was rescued by XS Games and polished up, but would not make it onto shelves until 2007. It was ignored by the mass market, largely due to the stigma of PS2 budget titles being mostly crap, but The Red Star is anything but.

The Red Star combines the beat 'em up style gameplay of Final Fight and Streets of Rage with the bullet-hell style play of the modern vertical shoot 'em ups like Ikaruga, and pulls it off really well. Basically, you've got fists to pummel dudes, and guns to blast the seven-shade out of them. Early in the piece, the game likes to separate between the two - you'll have a melee sequence, then a gun-focused sequence, but later in the piece, it'll ramp the difficulty up and have you focusing on both close and distance combat. The bosses are the highlight of the game - they're big and nasty and offer up a legitimate challenge. It might recycle a few ideas later in the game, and it's not the height of gaming originality, but given that it'd set you back a maximum of $20, The Red Star is well worth checking out.

Artistic License

It's not easy being green

Many comic book characters have made the transition to video games, but not all of them have had a good run. The Incredible Hulk was one such character, with no game capturing the true spirit of the comic until Radical Entertainment took their second crack at the Jade Giant. Their first game was based on the Ang Lee Hulk film from 2003, and featured a whole bunch of crappy stealth based missions where the player controlled Bruce Banner. The sequel, The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction does away with all of that crap, instead taking a few licks from Grand Theft Auto and Spider-Man 2, letting players take the big green bugger through a city, smashing everything in his way.

The game begins with Bruce Banner trying (yet again) to cure himself of the Hulk when his cabin is attacked by Emil Blomsky and General Thunderbolt Ross. Ross and Blomsky are part of The Division, an NSA branch specialising in dealing with the threat of mutated humans. Banner transforms into the Hulk, smashes the Division's forces and escapes into seclusion. Blomsky, after being berated by Ross for letting the Hulk escape, grabs a vial from Banner's lab and engulfs himself in gamma rays. After further arguments with Ross, Blomsky becomes enraged and turns into a gamma creature, calling himself The Abomination. Meanwhile, Banner is treated via hypnosis by Doc Samson in an attempt to control the Hulk's activities, but The Abomination's intervention and other events during the game make this impossible. That essentially results in you getting to smash lots of stuff.

Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction sets the Hulk loose in a city. You've got full control over all of the Hulk's actions; you can jump great distances, run up walls, pick up heavy objects, smash buildings into rubble and so on. As you complete the game's missions, you unlock even more moves, including the brutal ground slam and sonic clap. You can also take on a number of side missions like races and such. The most important thing about the game is that the Hulk feels powerful - a real force to be reckoned with. The game is reasonably long, with a stack of unlockable content, and, excusing the final boss encounter, is a damn fine game to boot. You'll find The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction on the PS2, Xbox and GameCube.

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Quote of the Week

I could probably have quoted a million and one different "concerned group"'s reactions to Grand Theft Auto IV this week, but instead I'll pick on Activision, who issued this statement concerning their E3 attendance. "After careful consideration, for business reasons Activision has decided not to participate in any official E3 activities. We wish the ESA best of luck with the show." So companies like Activision begged and pleaded for E3 to be toned down, moved and held back, and then they decide not to go. I would think that the reaction to Call of Duty IV's E3 appearance and their subsequent success with the game (which has sold like 9 million copies now) would be enough incentive to go. Then you look at their lineup for the year - Tony Hawk 9, Guitar Hero 4 and the Treyarch-developed Call of Duty 5 which regresses to a World War II setting. Those cash cows are looking awfully dry. Perhaps it's Vivendi that got the bum end of the merger deal.

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Next Week

We'll have the final part of our Grievances series, and a few other vaguely entertaining odds and ends relating to video games.