What is wrong with old people these days? I mean first they threw out their slippers for a pair of Nikes, then they found the Internet - and bowls and caravan forums were never the same again... and now? They have discovered Wiis. I can see it now:
"Shirley what appears to have happened here?"
"Well Doctor, I was doing a Pop-Shove-it, Backside Nose Slide while doing a downhill race and I felt a crack in my elbow."
"YOU WERE SKATEBOARDING?!"
"No, don't be silly. I was playing with my Wii!"
"Are you having a problem going to the toilet?"
"No, my Wii, doctor! My Wii – I was playing Tony Hawk!"
Think of the confusion this will create. I spent years looking after my grandparents when I was younger and they were confusing enough without bring something like the Wii into it.

Nanna and Grandpa

The Wii is just ripping apart the boundaries between gamers and non-gamers of all ages, my sisters, who have never really played games in their lives, both bought a console and now sit around discussing which of the latest games on the market sound interesting. I caught my mother and her best friend beating each other up in a round of Wii Boxing at Christmas (which had to be one of the funniest things I had ever seen). Now, I hear Wiis are being installed in nursing homes and cruise ships around the world.

Think of the effect this will have on the economy... soap stars in the gutter after having their programs axed, empty bingo halls, variety shows and nightclubs on ships all empty... Why? Because everyone is at the Main Hall watching Bill and Nancy in the playoffs for the top dog at the Happy Green Hill River Retirement Home and Village Wii Tennis Tournament. Medics on standby (at taxpayers expense of course), because Reg's heart can only just take the suspense. Pulled muscles and broken bones are also common for these tournaments, filling hospital beds and keeping osteopaths in their sports cars and expensive houses at the top of Happy Green Hill overlooking their pay dirt.

Then there is the social effect, this is the one that scares myself and other gamers the most: we were never meant to be beaten at a game by our grandparents. If they are at their nursing homes all day playing on the Wii, then that is hours of practice that we just can't fit into our day. Then, when they come over for that Christmas or Easter lunch – Bang! Five aces at Wii Tennis. Beaten by 10sec in Tony Hawk Downhill Jam. We will lose all our cred, and our grandparents will become the leet gamers.

What's next, the Over 50's Counter-Strike Tournament, or worse, Bingo-Bingo Revolution? What will become of us gamers? Is this just a taste of what we are in for in the future, or are they just getting ready for us when it's time to enter our high tech nursing homes. I for one, welcome our gaming overlords. Hi, Nanna Ed!