Any idiot can cash in, and Toby is the biggest idiot of them all.
By Toby McCasker on March 12, 2014 at 5:37 pm
Forgive my cynicism (or don’t) but I’m not into Kickstarter’s vibe at all and, until this week, I couldn’t really figure out why. It was always an inkling; a something-something about every person and their dog/cat/cat-dog suddenly being given an elevated platform with which to beg for money that, I thought, was pretty galling on a mysterious level. Then I saw some class-A titanium rip-off derp like No Day’z Later in the queue for internet Centrelink and I realised: Yeah. That’s why.
I mean, 18 people pledged $416 to this monumental basin of grammatically unsound anus water before it was mercifully cancelled. 18 people! $416! That’s technically a collective or at the very least a socially mixed backyard gathering that are paying almost $500 for someone to squeeze a loaf onto the ground and play with it delightedly for hours. Hours, guys. Delightedly. Maybe there’ll be some sepia fingerpainting, I don’t know. Maybe only the one person who pledged $25 or more gets that extra. Those incentives. They almost make me want to pay up not to get them. “Fly to our country and hang out with us!” HEY NO. YOU COME HERE OR JUST ADD ME ON STEAM.
Certainly Kickstarter has not been without supreme glory. I couldn’t dispute that, no way. I have sunk that many hours into The Banner Saga of late and it most likely would not have happened if not for believing in the kindness of strangers. Likewise Wasteland 2 is looking fab. I mean there are definitely some killer projects out there asking for dollars, and that is what really chaffs my undercarriage: Anyone is allowed to Kick a Start. In this context, that means a lower and lower signal-to-noise ratio.
Its indicative of a wider problem on the internet. It’s like when you’re trying to find good new music. There is so much new music and every butthole is in a band, so a lot of that new music is bad new music. Sometimes the good stuff languishes and then gives up and gives in because they think no one cares. It’s not that no one cares, they just can’t find the stuff.
I had to stumble over this sexcellent isometric sci-fi horror the other night. Kickstarter has provided the perfect infrastructure for a suggestively gaping void to open up and swallow the good times whole, because every Gen Y grommet dev thinks they know everything and has no money. And people are idiots, don’t forget that. The fact that No Day’z Later almost got itself to $500 fills me with a nameless dread as often felt by high-powered executives in the 1980s whenever the business cards came out for comparison.
I’m a big believer in not bitching and moaning unless you have some semblance of an idea that might help to fix whatever you’re bitching and moaning about, so. I was thinking of doing a Kickstarter to raise money for Mastodon to come play at my apartment. “How will that help, Toby?” Hush now, sweet thing. All your questions will be answered after the fact. Sleep now.