Guild Wars 2 meets a thesaurus meets some weird lady in a taxi.
By Alex Walker on November 28, 2013 at 10:24 am
Guild Wars 2 has been a bit quiet lately. I mean, people still play the game and all, but you don’t hear a lot of news coming out of the world of Tyria. Maybe that’s because I don’t pay enough attention or something.
But ArenaNet isn’t giving up without a fight. Not content to see players lured over by the prospect of brand new EVE Online expansions, annual updates to World of Warcraft and the looming prospect of Elder Scrolls Lose-Your-Life-Online, they’ve decided to make Guild Wars 2 free. For you. If you’ll do them a small favour.
“Pledge your commitment to the world of Tyria by reading the Guild Wars 2 Oath on video for a chance to win a FREE COPY of Guild Wars 2 Heroic Edition,” the Guild Wars 2 Great MMO Migration says. All you have to do is read a pre-prepared statement on camera and fill in the blanks. I’ve even done the last part for you, below. (Everything italicised is the choose your own literary adventure part.)
“I, Coofle SnugglyPants, renounce F1 Simulator games and pledge my allegiance to Guild Wars 2. I likewise declare my freedom from mouth-breathing subscription fees! That I turn my back forever on the ABC’s political coverage which is/are totally inspired by Gaben. That I will take up arms to defend the console peasants and crush evil with my noun. I take this oath to Guild Wars 2 freely, without a burning sensation in my lower thigh because I am a horse.”
I thought it was funnier to leave noun in. Sue me. If this kind of word-play inspires you to similar shenanigans with a dictionary, then head on over to the MMO Migration Page. But it you’d rather skip all the nonsense and prefer to play Guild Wars 2 now, ArenaNet are kindly offering a 40% discount. Aren’t holidays fun?