Sitrep: What I Play When I’m Not Brutally Gunning Down Archetypes

Opeth of Duty

By on March 13, 2013 at 8:10 pm

Dynamics, I think, are really important. Black, white, grey. Grey is a boring colour but it’s where you want to be (Grey is my favourite colour actually. —Ed). It’s a good ideal: Everything’s cool and I feel alright. I like music a lot, for instance. I like metal. Metaaal. But I can’t stand metal that is just loud and roargh all the time. Too much black, let’s say. Something more like Opeth is where it’s at.

Likewise I dig the softer stuff, but not if it’s a relentless coma of overt sensitivity ala City & Color. Bit much white, let’s say. Yeah you can tell Dallas I said that. Bor-ing. Give it an edge, like everything Steven Wilson has ever done. Is this too musical? Wee-hait, getting there.

I love shooters. Shooters are gaming’s metaaaaaaaal (sorry). But they are loud, and they roargh all the time. Some don’t. Deus Ex: Human Rev, for instance, but it’s a bad example and not at all indicative of the genre at large. For the most part, you’re killing everyone and exploding their homes. This is pleasing to me, but it’s a very one-dimensional (or focused, if I worked in PR) experience. I’ve found over the years that it needs a counterweight, so it might be the best Indian Jones catacomb trap it can be.

When I start sitting there going, “Gawd I hate shooters now,” that’s terrible. But it just means my shooter yin is too high. My murderise pH level is unbalanced.

A balanced diet is key. Look how normal I am. Some nights you want pie. What flavour is it? Pie flavour.

The alkaline solution is RPGs. The RPG yang. There is no more diametrically opposed a genre to the FPS than the RPG, a fact even acknowledged, in-genre, by the fact most shooters include an RPG that is used to clear a path and continue onward. I am absolutely stretching for symbolism that is just handy coincidence, and thank you for noticing.

The FPS is fast and understandably shoots first. It asks no questions later because lol, questions, that’s for BioWare girls. The RPG is slow and might fire a weapon, maybe, but only when its allotted position in the turn order swings ‘round. The psychopath and the gentleman. The cigarette and the pipe. The cheap hooch and the cognac. Complimentary opposites, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Too much of either will turn you into a monster forever. Wear that headset and play Call of Duty (pick any of ‘em, they’re all the same) online. Do the same on WoW.

For every hundred hours of unenviable K/D ratio, there is a hundred hours of misshapen stat-maxing (my wizard must be strong and the master of unlocking).  A balanced diet is key. Look how normal I am. Some nights you want pie. What flavour is it? Pie flavour. For the past few months it’s been Far Cry 3 this, Far Cry 3 that. A lot of similarly dressed FPS archetypes are dead because of me. Now it is Persona 3: FES. Yes, on the PS2. The original Atlus grind. A lot of similarly psychosexual JRPG archetypes are dead because of me.

Hey, you gotta have at least one thing in common.

7 comments (Leave your own)

I agree with what I think your point is lol, it’s much more fun to play a good variety of games than stick with one genre, even if you love it the most.

If that’s not your point, well


I saw opeth in the image and clicked without thinking haha nice post.


I saw opeth in the image and clicked without thinking haha nice post.

Going to see them tomorrow night, fuck yeah! :D


Haven’t read the article yet but… who else is seeing Opeth and Katatonia tomorrow night?

Edit: Ah, tranquil beat me too it. See you there, brother!


What flavor is it? PIE FLAVOR!!

Zim <3


Asdf movie reference spotted. Insertion skill level – Godlike.

Toby McCasker

Opeth fans and knowers of ASDF… I enjoy this website and its people a lot.

Leave a comment

You can use the following bbCode
[i], [b], [img], [quote], [url href=""]Google[/url]

Leave a Reply

PC Gaming Calendar 2014


Steam Group

Upcoming Games

Releasing Soon
Thief Shadowrun Returns South Park: The Stick of Truth

Community Soapbox

Recent Features
Dark Souls 2

Dark Souls 2 PC reviewed: The sweet reprise of death

Jason Imms dies over and over to bring you the skinny on the PC version of Dark Souls 2.

The Elder Scrolls Online Grabnadz

The Elder Scrolls Online journals: One giant, kinda laggy leap for orc-kind

Levels one through fifteen of The Elder Scrolls Online are demolished by an angry orc mage-tank.

Watch Dogs

Watch Dogs PC hands-on: Not the perfect open world, but still a world of fun

Watch Dogs offers a generous array of options, and we push the boundaries to see how far we can go.


Heroes of the Storm: Blizzard’s Dustin Browder on rage problems, hybrid roles, and balance

"We’re trying to make it so if there’s something obvious that you want to do, it’s the right thing to do. There’s no sort of hidden rules or hidden strategies that make that wrong."


ArcheAge’s alpha impressions: The freeform Korean MMO that might just live up to its promises

This high-flying Korean MMO has finally made it to a Western release. James jumps in to see if the promise 'sandpark' model delivers.

Streaming Radio
Radio Streams are restricted to iiNet group customers.

GreenManGaming MREC

The Regulars

Sitrep: Hating Guns and Totally Loving Playing With Guns

Toby's absent-minded shower thoughts arrive for your edification.

The Secret World

Legal Opinion: Bait and switch… with a mankini

Not everybody is laughing following Funcom's April Fools joke on its players.

Bad at Aiming

Sitrep: Waiting in line at the FPS dole queue

Toby is so incompetent that he needs an entire new genre of games invented just to cater for him.

Amazon Fire

Friday Tech Roundup (04 April 2014): Radeon R9 295X2 specs leak

Also, the man behind the "Microsoft" phone scam has been captured and fined.

Facebook Like Box