By Tim Colwill on March 27, 2013 at 5:19 pm
Alcoholic beverages have been angrily dashed to the ground tonight in unprecedented quantities as games critics both online and in person at the Battlefield 4 event in San Francisco expressed their shock and outrage that Battlefield 4 would be basically the same as Battlefield 3.
“I just can’t understand it,” sobbed one games writer, twisting their fedora in their hands in disbelief. “They had the chance to make something completely untested, and instead they opted to go for something that was guaranteed to make them a whole pile of money.”
Another nearby games writer reached over and gave them a friendly pat on the shoulder. “It’s like they didn’t even want to challenge the status quo,” they agreed. “I came in here expecting to have my mind blown, and instead they’ve remade their last successful game but just overhauled the visuals.”
“They are very pretty though,” he admitted.
Meanwhile on Twitter, games critics vented their disappointment in the snarkiest way possible. “I can’t believe they made a game that is guaranteed to sell millions of copies,” said one person to another. “I’m genuinely shocked and amazed that this monolithic company made a sensible business decision.”
“Especially in the wake of their recent poor financial reports,” chimed in a third. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
“It’s a very pretty game, yeah, for sure,” they concluded. “It’s just hard to believe EA would pass up catering to what I want in order to serve mass market appeal.”
When asked for comment, the millions of cash-ready fans who just like shooting things but aren’t video game critics said “I can’t talk right now, I’m watching the Battlefield 4 trailer.”