And the winners of the Corsair Solid State Drive competition are…

Corsair Neutron Red

By on November 2, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Apologies for the delay, but we had a difficult time sorting out the winners of our Corsair SSD giveaway and have only now just been able to finalise everything! With over two hundred entries to choose from, sorting through them was a big task.

So without further ado, here are our official winning entries:


My computer is so slow that Julius Caesar used it for a footstool, Da Vinci used it as a paperweight, and Newton, frustrated, used it to confirm his theory of gravity from the third-story window of his manor.


My computer is so slow, the theme to “Chariots of Fire” plays during loading.

Throllax walks away with first prize with the Corsair Neutron GTX 240 GB, while Roachless takes home second place with the regular Corsair GTX 240 GB.

But with so many entries, we can’t get away without mentioning a few of the awesome runners-up!



My computer is so slow I use the boot sequence as a timer for halley’s comet’s return


My PC is so slow I don’t understand the difference between a GIF and a JPEG image.


My computer is so slow that when scientists see it coming they are convinced it is exhibiting signs of redshift.


My computer is so slow that the load time of a program is unaffected when I disconnect the HDD.


My computer is so slow I could use Australia Post to forward the HDD cache to the processor and it would get there faster.

Special mention must go to gorstrom, for his two-part entry making a joke about how his computer was so slow that it takes six days to post an entry — posted six days apart. Lovely stuff.

Thanks to everybody who entered and to everybody who liked us on Facebook! You’re all the best.

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17 comments (Leave your own)

congrats to the winners and runners up. all of them are actually really good.

it’s also nice to see no poetry won.


Grats winners!


Clearly no one’s a fan of Russell Peters. :P

I like Throllax’s, congrats. :)


Some very good entries there, congrats to the winners.


poor judgement! how old are the judges? Runners up much better i.e. rustkill and drakaali



Going to dredge up my old response to the last time I saw someone say that;

It’s most creative as judged by them. If you’re going to question their judgement on creativity then it gets dangerously close to asking questions like “what is art?” and then you’re only a short step away from having to admit things like interpretive dance might contain something of value.
So really by questioning the judges you’re saying you’re ok with interpretive dance. Or so my train of logic leads me to believe.


Drakaali’s was lol as was the red shift one. Congrats to the winners and condolences to the runners-up… a lol-tastic read all up.


GG dudes, Anybody like the ‘let it snow’ changed lyrics i posted? Well i thought it was clever none the less


I was sad I didn’t win, but reading the winning entries and the runners up cheered me up :)

Top quality stuff.


Congrats to the winnars!


My pc is so slow my entry only just submitted.


Well done to the winners. And very well chosen, judges. lol

I didn’t enter. But had a good laugh reading the leading entries! :)

P.S. …Special mention goes to “sid” above. …Dude, if this was facebook I’d be hitting the like button. lol



“what is art?”

Now that I’ve graduated from my degree, I love that I can say “In my professional opinion” in response to shit like that. So awesome.

Congrats to the winners, you butthurt inducers you. Was sure my quip about tony abbott was a shoe-in…


Congrats to the winners. Sad to miss out so narrowly, but I agree that the winning entries were the two funniest!



Hahaha it’s funny you say this – because I actually got a notification saying I won!! But while I was talking with our Editor – he realised I had posted more than once, which is against the T&C so I was disqualified! I didn’t go and read the fine print – so my fault :P

No hard feelings – I’m glad it all came out in the wash before I was incorrectly awarded something unfairly. Grats to our winners :)


You’re a good sort, drakaali. :)


Thanks very much guys, got my prize in the mail today. I know what I will be doing when I get home. I can’t believe how light it is.

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