Apologies for the delay, but we had a difficult time sorting out the winners of our Corsair SSD giveaway and have only now just been able to finalise everything! With over two hundred entries to choose from, sorting through them was a big task.
So without further ado, here are our official winning entries:
My computer is so slow that Julius Caesar used it for a footstool, Da Vinci used it as a paperweight, and Newton, frustrated, used it to confirm his theory of gravity from the third-story window of his manor.
My computer is so slow, the theme to “Chariots of Fire” plays during loading.
Throllax walks away with first prize with the Corsair Neutron GTX 240 GB, while Roachless takes home second place with the regular Corsair GTX 240 GB.
But with so many entries, we can’t get away without mentioning a few of the awesome runners-up!
My computer is so slow I use the boot sequence as a timer for halley’s comet’s return
My PC is so slow I don’t understand the difference between a GIF and a JPEG image.
My computer is so slow that when scientists see it coming they are convinced it is exhibiting signs of redshift.
My computer is so slow that the load time of a program is unaffected when I disconnect the HDD.
My computer is so slow I could use Australia Post to forward the HDD cache to the processor and it would get there faster.
Special mention must go to gorstrom, for his two-part entry making a joke about how his computer was so slow that it takes six days to post an entry — posted six days apart. Lovely stuff.
Thanks to everybody who entered and to everybody who liked us on Facebook! You’re all the best.