Sitrep: An Unhappy Halloween, Sponsored by Resident Evil 6

Resident Evil 6

By on October 31, 2012 at 8:52 pm

It’s Halloween and although it’s an American thing and we’re Australian and blah blah it is also extremely cool. Just now I saw Harley Quinn and Elvira totally making out on the train home. I’m not one for dress-ups — being that I already look a bit like Satan — so to get into the malevolent spirit of things I thought I’d play Resident Evil 6. It’s not out on the PC yet, of course. Next year, I think. Capcom don’t want another Resident Evil 4 debacle on their hands, so the PS3 it has to be.

Which is fitting, because the original Resident Evil - waaay back in ‘96, gawd, my arthritis – was one of the first games I got for my PSX. Instant and enduring love. Also instant hilarity. For those who have never:

I know, right? I followed the franchise with absolutely relish, with the aforementioned Resident Evil 4 proving to be my absolute favourite if only because I kept it Sony and did the PS2 thang. Resident Evil 5 didn’t really inflate my dinghy, being more awkward shooter than anything else, but advance word of Resident Evil 6 looked pretty sweet. Scary, even. Still no hi-lair FMV intro with Blood Type statistics, but I’m relatively easygoing and it’s okay they never read my letters. Written in blood. Stamped in scalp. Maybe including the phrase “…or I’ll find you.”

Not only is Resident Evil 6 not scary, it’s loathsome to play. It really is. The only thing keeping me going right now is pure nostalgia. I just don’t get what kind of chronic Capcom are passing around the office over there. Is weed even a thing in Japan? They want to do something else with the series — what they think the majority must want, maybe — than what the fans actually do want. The resultant compromise is a clash of methodology that couldn’t work any less.

What we end up with is a full-bore shooter that doesn’t give you any ammo. The former is where Cappers think the money’s at, and the latter has long been a staple of the series at large ever since its inception. You know, conserve your bulletage and go easy on your pain-relieving green herbs, you never know what’s gonna go down.

Thing is, everything is going down in Resident Evil 6, all the time. I make the optimistic choice – the so-called “classic” choice – and pick Leon’s scenario to start with. It’s supposed to be the mood to Chris Redfield’s mayhem. Even here, the frequent combat sitches aren’t built to be run away from (you end up having to at least try, because you just have nothing left to shoot with). You get hit for loads of damage all the time as a result, with bugger-all potted ganja to go around. If Helena wasn’t on hand to stab your heart with a Pulp Fiction death antidote, you’d get nowhere, faster. Happy Halloween. This year’s candy tastes like butt.

5 comments (Leave your own)

Still waiting patiently for RE6 to come out on PC.


Still waiting patiently for RE6 to come out on PC.

Indeed, but then will have to wait patiently even longer for some sort of 75% off or more sale since this franchise is dead to me ever since they went the “Lulz action 3rd person shooter Cod playerz yo!” route with 4 onwards… can’t imagine paying full price for this – especially after the god awful demo I played off the PS network.


What did I just watch…

I’ve been playing RE5 with my girlfriend. It’s pretty good actually. Couldn’t imagine playing it alone though. There’s some incredibly frustrating mechanics and its these that generally make the game difficult. Not being able to aim down sight and move, for one. Also the inventory system. Ugh. Obvious issues aside, it’s a pretty decent game. Looking forward to a PC release of RE6.


I’m looking forward to RE6, I played it on PS3 but returned it shortly after coz I can’t aim with a stick, but I look forward to the PC version. Its one of those games where some love it and some don’t, the review scores are all over the place, with some as high as 90+ and others as low 3/10.


Sounds like “An Unhappy Halloween, I got owned by Resident Evil 6″ hehehehe ^.^

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