Competition Time: We’ve got two Corsair Neutron SSDs to give away!
By Tim Colwill on October 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Computer running a bit slowish? Need to give yourself an extra hour to boot up in the mornings, or always lagging behind your mates when it comes to grabbing the gunner seat in the chopper when the map loads? Never fear, Corsair and games.on.net are here with a competition to help you perk up those ailing load times.
We’ve two 240GB Corsair Neutron SSD’s to give away — which you may remember from our recent hardware review as being “a couple of very potent” drives with “blistering sequential performance”. The first prize winner will receive the Corsair Neutron GTX 240GB, while the runner-up will receive the regular Corsair Neutron 240GB.
How do I enter?
There’s three parts to this competition, so pay close attention!
Corsair have asked us to help promote their Facebook page, so here’s the deal: head on over to the official Corsair Facebook page and click the ‘Like’ button. Then, head on over to the official games.on.net Facebook page and Like us there, as well.
Then, for the final act — leave a comment on this post, explaining how slow your computer is. Comments should follow this format: “My computer is so slow that…”. For example: “My computer is so slow that even Toby can do basic maths faster”, or “My computer is so slow that I have to boot it up at night before I go sleep if I want to use it in the morning.”
Comments should be 50 words or less in length.
Apologies to users who do not have Facebook accounts, but this competition is unfortunately open to Facebook users only! Accounts are free, though, if you need to go make one.
If your entry is selected, you will be contacted privately to check that you have Liked the Facebook pages as requested, before the prize is awarded.
How long do I have?
The competition runs from today until 11:59 PM ACDT on Sunday October 28.
Terms and Conditions
This competition is governed by the Terms and Conditions available on this page.
Good luck!
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And they are....
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When I was filling out my driver’s license application and used my I.P. Address as my Physical address, the computer was so slow I had to turn a crank to keep beast humming, much akin to the cars of old.
I love that you guys are still doing competitions. Having said that, I think I’m going to sit this one out; mostly because I don’t have a Facebook account and I really don’t want to make one just to participate.
My computer is so slow that its I need to turn the graphics down on Minesweeper. :(
My computer is so slow that, it cannot create a Facebook account.
My computer is so slow that its clock is an accurate measurement of Valve time.
My computer is so slow I have to shovel coal into it the graphics card to make it run whenever it freezes.
My computer is so slow that I’d be better off signing up for the Australian Army and going to Afghanistan rather than waiting for Battlefield 3 to load.
My computer is so slow that I can play Quake 3 multiplayer as a play-by-email game.
My computer is so slow that this sentence took me a year to write!
My computer is so slow it’s like loading Crysis on low settings on a TI-80.
My computer is so slow that Commodore 64 owners snigger at how long it takes to load a word processor.
My computer is so slow that… [Connection lost, user eggheart has timed out]
My computer is so slow your mum gets my jokes before it does, and it supposedly has 4 brains!
My computer is so slow, that to find out how slow you should send a stamped, self addressed envelope and you’ll find out in 3-6 weeks
My computer is so slow that the core clock speed runs on 24 hour time.
My computer is so slow, so woefully slow, it took NASA’s Voyager less time to reach the edge of our suns influence then my computer to boot to desktop.
My computer is so slow that my old commodore 64 loaded river raid faster!
My computer is so slow by the time I had finished the XCOM tutorial the counsel had disolved XCOM – now I have to serve our new Alien Overlords.
My computer is so slow that by the time it loads the ‘Hot 18 y.o. brunette’ video, it turns out to be ‘Saggy 70 y.o. Nanna’ video.
Since i refuse to make a friendface account just for this , my entry will not be valid anyhoo….
My computer is so slow that….who am i kidding, my computer is fscking fast enuf, sif i need another ssd in it :-)
My computer is so slow that it’s faster to drive to Google headquarters and ask them in person.
My computer is so slow that it takes over a day to move a 2MB file from C: to D:
My computer is so slow that it still thinks the Earth is flat! :3
My computer is so slow that I have to browse the GON forums (and sometimes the Corsair website) when I open up a large program like MATLAB for University, which ruins my productivity.
My Computer is so slow, a broken abacus is an upgrade.
My computer is so slow, it took me 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!
My computer’s so slow even Podd can “run” faster.
my computer is so slow it took 2 hours for it to show all these words i typed and still missed a few
My computer is so slow that I have to use an abacus to decide what games I can afford rather than the windows calculator.
My computer is so slow even the Indian phone scammers hang up on me.
My computer is so slow that… It’s easier to mail the photos than check them on Facebook!
My computer is so slow that I can hit the power on button, wander over to the servo for a pie and FUIC (200m away) and by the time I get back it’s still loading programs…
My computer is so slow, I only just discovered that Duke Nukem Forever is going to be delayed.
My computer is so slow it took me an hour to post this comment!
My computer is so slow that… i want a 240GB Corsair Neutron SSD
My computer is so slow that the 34 people above, who have already told you how slow their computer is, were able to get here and comment first!
My computer is so slow that I can tame a Mountain Lion in the United States and bring it to Australia :))
My computer is so slow by the time it finishes loading battlefield 3 all the vehicles are gone and I have to walk all the way to just get sniped :(
My computer is so slow that when I try to play bf3 the computer overheats and crashes before the map is loaded!
My computer is so slow i use the boot sequence a timer for hally’s comet return
My computer is so slow, that even Chuck Norris is made to wait for its miserable boot times
My computer is so slow not even the scruffy looking guy in the dump shop wanted it
My computer is so slow, I have time to play a game of Twilight Imperium (with expansions) while I’m waiting for my code to compile.
My computer is so slow that even a sloth is annoyed at it’s load times.
My computer is so slow that it takes around 10 seconds for each letter to appear as I type, I’m not using all 50 words.
My computer is so slow that I require a whole pc cluster farm just to see the ending of solitaire.
my computer is so slow I can do basic equations faster than microsofts calculator can !
My computer is so slow that Microsoft used it as their baseline for the Metro UI.
My computer is so slow that a baby can grow up faster than my computer takes to load.
My computer is so slow that I use the microwave as my gaming rig. The immersion it added to Fallout III however, left me very impressed…. and sterile.
My computer is so slow I can download three Doctor Who seasons, two Walking Dead episodes, and a Homeland in a pear tree.
My computer is so slow, the theme to “Chariots of Fire” plays during loading.
My computer is so slow that hopefully by the 28th of October this page will have loaded and I can find out what I have entered!
Oh yeah?
Well my rig is so quick that NASA rang and asked for their 1969 Apollo Guidance Computer back as they had a Moon Landing to get done.
My computer is slow that the museum of modern art has asked to display it as the most technologically advanced paperweight of the 21st century!
My computer is so slow to boot that it reminds me of the days that i used to carve my CPUs out of wood and we had to hand crank the Hard Drives.
My computer is so slow that the longer this sentence is the more it lags and the more I cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn””””””””’tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
My computer is so slow that this page will finish loading after deep Deep Thought finishes getting to the result 42.
My computer is so slow it makes an iphone boot up seem quick
My computer is so slow that the hamster running it died of boredom, not fatigue.
P.S. I started typing this last year.
My PC is so slow that I have time to have a S.S.S. while it is booting up in the morning
My computer is so slow that when I downloaded ‘folding at home’ I was presented with a screen that told me it would be quicker to do it by hand!
My computer is so slow that it makes Tony Abbott, Mitt Romney, and the Union Cycliste Internationale seem like esteemed members of Mensa in comparison :\
My computer is so slow that when I use it feels like I’m travelling back in time.
My PC is so slow i have aged 40 years by the time it gets to desktop and by that time i have developed alzheimer’s and have forgotten what a computer is let alone how to boot one up i have even forgotten this competition :P
My computer is so slow, empires rise and fall during the time it takes to boot.
My PC is so slow I don’t understand the difference between a GIF and a JPEG image.
My computer is so slow I have to boot her up when i wake up so that she’s started by the time i get home from work. I then have to start shutting her down by 8pm and give her the night to turn off. I couldn’t make this stuff up.
My PC is so slow that iam using my amstrad computer to bring you this message
My computer is so slow that if the Promoter used it to judge which entries were the most creative, it wouldn’t be done by 5:00 PM ACDT on Monday, 29 October 2012.
My computer is so slow that Julius Caesar used it for a footstool, Da Vinci used it as a paperweight, and Newton, frustrated, used it to confirm his theory of gravity from the third-story window of his manor.
My PC is so slow that sometimes when it boots, i start to play on my PS3 and forget that my PC is booting. After a few hours, i shut it down without even using the PC.
Firstly I want to point out that my computer is so slow that…. wait what.
My PC is so slow i use my netbook instead.
My PC is so slow that my father would learn to set the timer on the PVR before this thing boots up. Lets say he struggled with a VCR!
I have two (2) computers.
The first is so slow I use the second (as the first is still somewhat boxed and has a turbo button).
The second is so slow I am writing this on a Nexus 7.
My PC so slow that Yo Mamma can’t Skype me to cam and haunt your dreams with the image.
My computer is so slow, when I told it about the NBN it lit on fire.
My computer is so slow that I rang NASA to enquire if any nearby black-holes were distorting the time dilation field in my area…
My computer is so slow it can’t possibly conjure the power to boot up and win a race; it has no legs.
I did write on the facebook post as well, here goes anyway: My computer is so slow, it takes me 3 hours to load up Microsoft Word :(
My computer is so slow, an IBM 701 could load windows faster.
My computer’s so slow it couldn’t crash even if it wanted to.
My computer is so slow, A Pentium 4 is a Pentium snore, a Quad Core is left at the door and the RAM for my rig is becoming a bore – But to upgrade we need more (efficient HDD’s)!
My computer is so slow I keep losing pong due to lag.
My computer is so slow its taken me weeks to log into the forums. :(
My computer is so slow it takes abo
My computer is so slow I’m sending you this entry from 25 years in the future when my computer has finally booted up. War……..
Edit: 2062: Damn, had to reboot, my computer crashed before I could warn you that this entry may cause time paradox if selected as the winner
My computer is so slow it can only calculate the half life of uranium-238 in REAL TIME!
My computer is so slow that the processing speed of my iPhone makes it look like a netbook running a 100 slot Minecraft server while playing battlefield 3, Arma 2, Minecraft, skyrim, halo 2 and two instances of GTA 4 at the same time.
My computer is so slow it couldn’t calculate pie past 42 decimal places!
My computer is so slow that instead of hitting windows+r and typing calc, I just clean my room and find a real calculator.
My computer is so slow that by the time I’ve attempted to post this comment this competition will already have a winner Lol :P
My computer is so slow that i could turn on my computer first thing in the morning, go into a different room to use the mothers notebook and browse everything i must on INTERNET EXPLORER before my desktop even welcomes me :(
Your mother is so fat that the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow and burnt out my hard drives.
My computer is on Valve time it’s so slow
My computer is so slow that I paid off my mortgage before it started up.
My computer is so slow that I had the whole office department team networked up to help manually address the memory.
My computer is so slow that by the time it has posted this comment humans would have evolved to a new species.
Oh my loading times are frightful,
But midnight gaming is so delightful,
Though with work in the morning,
Alt F4! Alt F4! Alt F4!
My HDD is slowly dying,
And, my PC, is still non compliant,
The SSD’s enable me to,
Let It Load! Let It Load! Let It Load!
My computer is so slow that the Hare won anyway.
My computer is so slow that it actually only opens Internet Explorer… with a white screen.
My computer is so slow that Tony Abbott would be considered progressive in comparison.
My computer is so slow that it is being studied in order to determine whether the ‘Achilles and the Tortoise’ paradox, posited by Zeno of Elea, is resolvable.
I am told that the speeds in question are being unfavourably compared to continental drift.
My computer is so slow that I am often wonder if there’s a ancient hamster inside it running around on a wheel trying to power it.
My computer is so slow that the US Government has sent it as a gift to Iran, to “help” with their efforts into developing nuclear technologies.
My computer is so slow that it is actually faster to write out a facebook status, leave my house, walk across town, buy a cooled beverage, drink said beverage, find a friend, and get them to post it.
My computer is so slow it lost out to Honey Boo Boo in a toddler pageant.
My computer is so slow that the final value of pie will be worked out before my computer loads a game.
My computer is so slow that it has torn the space time continuum and actually moves backwards in time 1 second every 365 days. Unless you live in the past you cannot see or use my computer.
My computer is so slow I had to enter a competition to get a SDD!
My computer is so slow that I think it’s time to upgrade my 152cm long, 172cm high and 74cm wide IBM 350 disk storage unit.
My computer is so slow that when I am done using it, everything seems like its moving at light speed. Even me.
My computer is so slow that it featured in an episode of Lost.
My computer is so slow that after six hours of making my way to the north-west airfield from the south-east coast and getting an awesome rifle and gear, it turns out I’d been killed by a sniper at the start of my journey.
Me: My computer is so slow that…
Computer: Something said, not good, slow he called me slow.
Me: You still processing about it? Man your really are slow.
Computer- Something said, not good…
Me – Just load the damn entry!
(Simpsons Parody)
Raioken18: My computer is so slow that…
Computer: Something said, not good, slow he called me slow.
Raioken18: You still processing about it? Man your really are slow.
Computer: Something said, not good…
Raioken18: Just load the damn entry page!
(Simpsons Parody)
Sorry I messed up the colons the first time.
My computer is so slow, that by the time I downloaded Cataclysm, Mists of Pandaria had already been released.
My computer is so slow I could use Australia Post to forward the hdd cache to the processor and it would get there faster.
My computer is so slow, the system clock ticks backwards….
My computer is so slow that when I showed it a second video card for SLi deliberations I saw Tears running out of my DVD drive bay. I put the second card away and it started purring again. I upgraded all except my HDD.
My computer is so slow that I see the egg timer more than the mouse pointer!
My computer is so slow it physically broke down from rusting because it took that long for it to boot up.
My Computer is so slow I have to cuddle my Internode cable to know what real speed feels like ;)
My computer is so slow im still trying to boot windows 95
My computer is so slow senior drivers would overtake it on the freeway
My computer is so slow that Half Life 3 will be released before it starts.
My computer is so slow that when I turn it on it goes backwards in time. Resulting in me never even getting into Windows to play games! Bonus is that I get to help out Marty McFly =D
My computer is slow that when I try and load up ‘Steam’, by the time it has loaded a new version is out.
My computer is so slow, it makes dot-matrix printers seem like technology from beyond tomorrow!
My computer is so slow that when scientists see it coming they are convinced it is exhibiting signs of redshift.
My computer is so slow I can get my breakfast in one end and out the other before I see a desktop on boot!
My computer is so slow that I’ve just turned it on so it’s ready for my prospective grand-children to use.
My computer is so slow that when i plug it into the internet it brings the world wide web down…. sorry ill unplug. :-)
My computer is so Slow I managed to write the entire works of Shakespeare Backwards.
My computer is so slow it can’t count past 1
My computer is so slow the special olympics denied it entry, saying that even they have standards.
I am going to hell.
My computer is so slow that when it finally loaded i could post my 2 year olds 21st birthday photos.
My HTPC needs a super fast drive to boot up in 10 seconds or less – please help!
My computer is so slow that it doesn’t “run”, it simply walks.
My computer is so slow that when i press the mouse button to fire my gun my guts has already been splattered across the map!
My computer is so slow that in a race between my computer, the tortoise and the hair. It would still come last.
My computer is so slow that the Heatsinks make more heat than the computer
My computer is so slow that I am still waiting to see what hapens when Y2K hits…
My computer is so slow, all the RSS feeds are from 1999!
My computer is so slow, I think it is running on apple cores!. (get it? get it? its a double joke… one at Apple macs being slow and apples the fruit!? get it? :P)
My computer is so slow that the Y2B bug interferes with booting.
( In the year 2 Billion, the sun will go supernova, interfering with your computer. Call today to have your computer certified Y2B ready. Extremely competitive rates. Exploding Sun? Not a problem! )
My computer is so slow that curiosity boots like the speed of light.
My computer is so slow that the load time of a program is unaffected when I disconnect the HDD
My computer is so slow that a snail can win 5 games of 100 kills deathmatchs before it registers that i have push that power button on my pc
my computer is so slow that there are no words for how slow it is.
My computer is so slow it gives me hope that my retarded children have a future.
My computer is so slow that when it jumped for joy, it timed out!
My computer is so slow that I can go do the shopping, go to class, hit the gym, have a beer, go to sleep and wake up the next morning before it boots.
My computer is so slow that I grow 2 more grey hairs every time it boots up.
Who am I kidding, I’m losing more hairs than I’m growing!
My computer is so slow sometimes it completely freezes up just loading a we
ATTENTION all GON members! The Y2K bug will not blow up our PCs. However, it may make them slow though. In fact, my PC is already so slow, that by the time you all get this message, I feel it may be too late!!
My computer is so slow it couldn’t outrun a horde of zombies.
My computer is so slow that i am required to join the competition to win an SSD from corsair!
My computer is so slow that by the time my HDD stops chugging long enough for my PC to submit this comment, the prize for this competition will be obsolete.
My computer is s o s l o w t h a t t y p i n g l a g s .
My computer is so slow that I have actually entered a localized time dilation field and the rest of the world is actually traveling faster than myself, this entry may never even get to you prior to the competition ending, I have little to poor understanding at how large the time has been dilated… I do not know if I will even still exist by time this reaches you, but with that in mind, this can all end with but one module installed onto the computer, however that module was destroyed by time and space as a tore a hole in relative time. but from what I under stand the Corsair Neutron SSDs mimic this modules properties and may save me yet.
Please Gamse.on.net! You’re my only hope!
My computer is so slow I can not even play the original DOOM… I’m currently writing this with my smart phone… and it’s not even that smart… IT’S A ROCK! but it is still faster than my computer, especially when I throw it to someone, than it really flies!! n.n
My computer has been running so slow ever since the dinosaurs used it, first they just want to check the DinoMail, but than its one thing after another and they are suddenly tracking a asteroid heading for earth?! a little far fetched for me… although it may explain the scorch marks on this monolith… hmmmmm
.backwards runs actually it that slow so is computer My
My computer is so slow that it disconnects other players in league of legends D:
My computer is so slow that it makes the Australian Government views on R18+ for games look ahead of the times!
My computer is so slow that I keep a Rubik’s cube on my desk, and solve it while waiting for TF2 to load. When I finish the Cube, I’ve got a book to read. Seriously.
My computer is so slow that all I can do while waiting for Battlefield 3 to load is play the 1972 classic Pong though even that lags and runs slow most of the time.
My computer is so slow that when I turn the computer and go have a shower, it’s still not at the desktop screen when I’m back. When I finally do reach the desktop, and try to open a program, it’s a whole toilet trip before it actually opens.
My computer is so slow that the CPU over heats when I wiggle my mouse.
It makes for a very boring computer .
My computer was so slow I’d wake up at four in the morning just to see if it had crashed!
But I finally made it go faster……….I dropped it out the 4th story window!
WOW it went FAST then!
The fastest crash I’d ever seen it do!
My computer is so slow that I tried booting unbuntu in ’04 and its still running the kernel.
My Computer is so slooww that it takes about an hour just to log onto the bank then it takes a further half hour to do anything on there. With constant delays in between. Just to read emails and use the internet can take hours. Frustrating.
My computer is so slow that I had to get Jimmy to criticize Sheldon Cooper. Suddenly the plates were in a hot dense state, my eyes expanded. Wait… is that how it goes? Well, if there’s anyone I can rely on, it’s Corsair. That should do the trick.
My Computer is so slow that my commodore 64 still out ranks it in this day and age! If only I had some sort of SSD by Corsair or something!? :D
My computer is so slow that I have to refuel it in between keystrokes
My computer is so slow that installing Gentoo didn’t fix it.
My computer loads so slowly I can make and drink several coffees per game loading screen. The total war shoguns are particularly antsy about my delayed load times…..
My computer is so slow that you can read the entirety of Wikipedia before it finishes booting up.
It hasn’t even loaded the rules of the competition explaining the format, that’s how slow my computer is.
My computer is so slow that I would compare it, not so much to the swift vessels of corsair privateers, but to a cog; a lumbering hunk of wood. “Cog” is quite apt actually, considering it sounds and feels like my harddrive is operated and spun by such clunky technology.
My computer is so slow that I’m still waiting for Maths Rescue to load twenty years after it would have been any help. Thankfully I played Word Rescue at a friend’s house so I could learn to write this comment.
My computer is so slow that… ummm… sorry, it’s still loading…
My computer is so slow my wife boots it when she gets home, then after dinner starts hers so we can play Borderlands together. Since getting her new computer she pays me out about how slow mine is at every opportunity! :(
My computer is so slow that i use the boot time as a countdown for Half Life 3…so you know….it…doesn’t actually…you get the point.
My computer is so slow that I had to overclock it to emulate a x286.
My computer is so slow a turtle could beat my computer in a race of my computer booting up versus the Turtle walking 1km.
My computer is so slow that my 9 year old guinea pig* can spin up his wheel faster than my HDD can.
*Average lifespan of a guinea pig is 4-8 years.
My computer is so slow that I had to strap a time machine around my PC to speed it up to the point of useable. A brand new 240GB Corsair Neutron SSD would greatly reduce my electricity bills.
My computer is so slow, that yo’ momma can finally catch up to it!
My computer is so slow that when I play rage, The textures stream in off the hard drive 5 seconds after I look at them. and every time i turn around it dips to about 5 fps while it re-loads the same textures.
My computer is so slow that compiling code takes longer than writing it.
My computer is so slow that I decided to build a time machine. I achieved this a few months ago, I returned from the future with the latest super computer inserted in my iris. However, I have found that my current software will not support this technology until 2652! Help!!
ut 6 days for a single comment to finish loading.
My computer is so slow that I still have to wait ages to load steam if it doesn’t crash in the meantime whilst I walk away and do something else, so does Windows. I need a faster machine but have no money! :-(
My computer is so slow that I can only put one punch card through it per minute.
My computer is so slow it will probably take 5 days to post this message, I still don’t even know if it will make it in before the deadline.
My computer is so slow that microsoft minutes are actually accurate for once- It really WILL take 9 days, 22 hours and 38 minutes to transfer those files.
My computer is so slow that I took out the hard drive and replaced it with a floppy drive for slightly increased performance and much needed room!
My computer is so slow it thought Snakes on a Plane was a documentry…
My computer is so slow, I can write assembly code as if it were an interpreted language.
I’m afraid this contest is well and truly closed!
Just waiting on one of the winners to get back to me and I’ll announce the results.