Analysts shocked as Apple announces yet more Apple products
By Tim Colwill on October 24, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Apple today shocked the tech world by unveiling yet more Apple products at an Apple event in San Francisco. During the presentation, Apple’s CEO Tim Cook noted that these new Apple products were like the existing Apple products, only smaller, faster, and with slightly different names and numbers.
“We’re very proud to announce the new range of Apple products,” said Cook as he demonstrated one of them on stage. “It’s great because they’re like the ones you already know and love, but they’ve got more things in them. Also they’re lighter now, and smaller. Or maybe faster. The numbers are different, which is important.”
Apple’s SVP of worldwide marketing Phil Schiller was quick to agree. “This one that I’m holding is a smaller version of the one that millions of you already have,” he said, holding up a device that looked like an Apple product. “It’s got some different things and it is smaller. Plus, it has that new thing we do in it. And the other thing.”
Prices released show that Australians are already set to pay more for the new range of Apple products when they launch here on November 2.
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I for one welcome our new iOS overlords
You got me again Tim. The first quote from Cook sounded very real, assuming he was making an awesome joke. Which I did.
is this some kind of retarded april fools joke or somthing
if it is its fscking funny if its not , its even funnier
new products that are esentially the same mebbe smaller, or mebbe faster, but has different numbers , thats important!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
morons
My name is iambeanie and i approve this message. Go forth minions, purchase these new Apple products. Our ministry grows!
Good, maybe Notch can twitter on it.
Notch never uses his twitter account. Why would you say this sort of silly thing.
Yeah I guess having to delete after reaching 147 characters takes it out of you, right?
I just hope all this reporting iOS doesn’t distract Tim Colwill from reporting on Notch’s last status update.
Apple. Think Salesfigures.
My single favourite quote:
“It’s great because they’re like the ones you already know and love, but they’ve got more things in them. Also they’re lighter now, and smaller. Or maybe faster. The numbers are different, which is important.”
So uhh. Its the same thing, but we added +1 to the number, made it smaller, and doubled the price. We also added Apple maps. Totally a great addition there. And its MAYBE faster. No Guarantees.
And isn’t “ones you already know and love” code for “Out of Ideas”
I too like Apple products, because they allow me to quickly and easily identify the person who owns them as an idiot who cares more about being trendy with the latest status symbol then being well informed about the technology behind it.
LMAO!
trb,
Couldn’t of said it better… Well maybe i could’ve but it may of contained swears and the topic may of gone off course
Potato
trb,
that’s unfair, I own an iphone because of indifference
trb,
I got given an iPhone 4S for work, it’s quite a nice smartphone.
But don’t let me challenge your daft generalizations about hundreds of millions of souls who happen to own products from a particular company.
spkypwnsuall,
Hang on, I thought they decided that the whole +1 to the number thing wasn’t hip enough these days, so they just stopped using them altogether *.
* Of course this has meant not even Apple themselves can keep straight and ship the correct version of ipads ordered by customers – based upon my employer’s experience anyway.
haha so true…this is insane though…we all know its not needed but they’re doing because they know crazy people will buy it. Im all for a company making money, thats their point, but apple go overboard just because the releases are pointless lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIWKytq_q4
This video suggest otherwise
The new iMac looks cool, but god knows how they cram all the hardware into that thing with little airflow. My brother’s iMac just overheats and crashes when we play BF3, which isn’t helped as he lives in Singapore where its hot and humid.
Booo, dont judge me if you see me toting my iPad. Its issued by work, fills its purpose and has free internet that they pay for so im not complaining. Wouldn’t have paid for one myself though
I just love the iphone5 adverts on TV, I can just picture the ad team…
Suit1: “Ok guys what have we got?”
Suit2: “Well its the new iphone sir”
Suit1: “Well does it do anything new?”
Suit3: “Its got a new maps app, thats ne-”
Suit2: “-isknay on the apsmay!”
Suit3: “oh right, well we’ve got some new low quality earphones”
Suit1: “that’ll do, we’ll sell it on the earphone thing, maybe throw in that its made to fit in you hand.”
Suit2: “but sir, people hands are all different sizes?”
Suit1: “SELL SELL SELL!”
Ah trb, beautiful!
Of course not every latest apple product wielder is like that..but you can quickly tell which ones are.
That hand advert is probably the stupidest I’ve ever seen.
ralphwiggum,
wow, I wasn’t sure people used iMacs for gaming. It’s good to be surprised when you get this old.
jonlee,
I have an iphone 4
having an out of date iPhone is more hipster than owning a new iPhone since it’s vintage
I thought iAnything would be too mainstream.